The temptation is real and so are the hangovers. I can’t sleep… my insides hurt. Last week I was in the land of sourdough bread, or more commonly known as San Francisco. I attended a conference there. During the conference we had a nice breakfast most morning provided by the hotel for all in attendance. Oh joy! Coffee and pastries, two things I can’t have. I just watched as everyone around me enjoyed their evil breakfast.
I just though about the last time I “relapsed”. It was during a training week at work. Employees from our international offices came to our headquarters office. I didn’t attend the training, although I was invited to have breakfast. Everyday for a week I could have breakfast for free. The only thing more tempting than pastries are free pastries. I stayed strong Monday and possibly Tuesday. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. I caved. I ate an english scone. The next day I ate a breakfast sandwich on a large and delicious ciabatta roll. I felt fine. Well I felt fine for a day or two.
Then came the hangover. I found myself writhing in pain in the handicap stall. Thoughts of guilt and remorse ran through my head as I wished I hadn’t done what I had. I wanted to die or maybe I was dying for those 10 minutes. I tried to return to my desk. I must have visited the restroom 7 times that day. I am just thankful no one came in to the restroom while I was in there. The sounds I made would have made a bystander ill.
I made a promise to myself that day that I wouldn’t eat bread. Well guess what? I takes a lot of control. It seems like bread is everywhere and it is often free. Well I caved, sure I didn’t eat the bread at every chance I got in San Francisco but I ate some. Now I have been sick for a couple of days. I am writing this post because I woke up at 4 a.m. I have work at 9 a.m. I hope I can sleep more. It hurts to even move. If I stay really still maybe I can sleep. My stomach is cramping, my left side has sharp pains, my intestines hurt! I am sorry I ate a chocolate croissant at breakfast last week. I am sorry I ate a sour dough roll with my crab at the Crab House on Pier 39. Everybody was doing it. I am sorry I ate the apple muffins the Bishop’s wife brought to church on sunday. I am sorry I ate a tiny pumpkin chocolate chip cookie at the Munch & Mingle after church yesterday. Please forgive me.