Like an Alcoholic at a Bar

The temptation is real and so are the hangovers. I can’t sleep… my insides hurt. Last week I was in the land of sourdough bread, or more commonly known as San Francisco. I attended a conference there. During the conference we had a nice breakfast most morning provided by the hotel for all in attendance. Oh joy! Coffee and pastries, two things I can’t have. I just watched as everyone around me enjoyed their evil breakfast.

I just though about the last time I “relapsed”. It was during a training week at work. Employees from our international offices came to our headquarters office. I didn’t attend the training, although I was invited to have breakfast. Everyday for a week I could have breakfast for free. The only thing more tempting than pastries are free pastries. I stayed strong Monday and possibly Tuesday. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. I caved. I ate an english scone. The next day I ate a breakfast sandwich on a large and delicious ciabatta roll. I felt fine. Well I felt fine for a day or two.

Then came the hangover.  I found myself writhing in pain in the handicap stall. Thoughts of guilt and remorse ran through my head as I wished I hadn’t done what I had. I wanted to die or maybe I was dying for those 10 minutes. I tried to return to my desk. I must have visited the restroom 7 times that day. I am just thankful no one came in to the restroom while I was in there. The sounds I made would have made a bystander ill.

I made a promise to myself that day that I wouldn’t eat bread. Well guess what? I takes a lot of control. It seems like bread is everywhere and it is often free. Well I caved, sure I didn’t eat the bread at every chance I got in San Francisco but I ate some. Now I have been sick for a couple of days. I am writing this post because I woke up at 4 a.m. I have work at 9 a.m. I hope I can sleep more. It hurts to even move. If I stay really still maybe I can sleep. My stomach is cramping, my left side has sharp pains, my intestines hurt! I am sorry I ate a chocolate croissant at breakfast last week. I am sorry I ate a sour dough roll with my crab at the Crab House on Pier 39. Everybody was doing it. I am sorry I ate the apple muffins the Bishop’s wife brought to church on sunday. I am sorry I ate a tiny pumpkin chocolate chip cookie at the Munch & Mingle after church yesterday. Please forgive me.


One thought on “Like an Alcoholic at a Bar

  1. Great post Jennifer. You know i’ve been reading your posts and I have to say you write even better late at night. You were so funny and it was fun to read. Hopefully next time you won’t be up late at night writing because your sick though, sorry about that. Keep up the good work though.

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